Case Study: My Grandmother (mum's mom) just passed away yesterday. From a Feng Shui angle, how will this affect - our wedding on xx Dec. Can the family members still attend?

[Cecil Lee]

Questions:

a. My Grandmother (mum’s mom) just passed away yesterday. From a Feng Shui angle, how will this affect - our wedding on (this date that is more than 100 days.) Can the family members still attend our wedding? 

b. Our proposed house warming on (within 100 days). Can we still go ahead with that?

My condolences.
c. Move in is no issue since it is within the 100 days.

d. As to family member's attendance: traditionally is NO. Since it is out of the 100 days reprieve.

d. However in modern times: do check with both partner's parents. Some parents are very flexible while others adhere to strict Chinese Traditional Guidelines.

1. The Traditional Chinese Guidelines or Common Practises

1.1. The traditional Chinese custom upon a death in the family of a parent or grandparent: "The usual practice is to either have a wedding within 100 days of the death, or to wait until 1000 days later (ie about 3 years). "

1.2. As it is unlucky to get married when the family is still in mourning. Hence, there is this short 100 days window (reprieve) that allows such events to be done, before going into such a long mourning period of 1,000 days or 3 years. Even a 1 year mourning period is still long.

1.3 The above is the usual traditional practice or believe.

1.4. The key essence lies with what is the family's idea of a mourning period?

1.5  In modern times, many Chinese families will no longer mourn for 1,000 days or approximately 3 years.

1.5.1 But if one is a sticker for tradition, then no choice, one must abide by this family mourning period. Else considered bad-luck.

2. Today, so as long as the person and their family elders can decide and agree upon a reasonable mourning period. Then, it is also fine to consider wedding events after the mourning period is over.

3. In conclusion:

3.1. Nowadays, many modern families adopt a more liberal mourning period. Some families accept or agree on a 3 months to 1 year mourning period.

3.2. For long mourning periods, couples getting married should go for a "short-gun" wedding and opt to do so within the 100 days window. Else, have to wait till the mourning period is over.

4. Today's Modern Practical Alternative (Subject to individual family consensus)

4.1. Instead of the reprieve of 100 days to get whatever done e.g. a shot-gun wedding, move-in and/or house warming. 

4.2. If the family agrees to a short mourning period of 100 days; then since this will be the mourning period; don't get married, move-in or house warming during this period. 

4.3. Do so, after the 100 days. 

4.4. Contrast to the Traditional period of a reprieve to do all these during a window of 100 days. And once the window is closed, the mourning will be till 1,000 days or 3 years.

Robert Lee,
Geomancy.net

[Cecil Lee]

This contains no narratives. Just the full context:

1. The Traditional Chinese Guidelines or Common Practises

1.1 The Chinese tradition that is usually followed, which is if there is a death in the family with regards to parents and/or grandparents: "The usual practice is to either have a wedding within 100 days of the death, or to wait until 1000 days later (ie about 3 years). "

1.2 As ideally, it is said that it is unlucky to get married when the family is still in mourning. Hence, there is this short 100 days window (reprieve) that allows such events to be done, before going into the mourning period.

1.3 The above is the usual practice or believe.

1.4. The key essence lies with what is the family's idea of a mourning period?

1.5  In modern times, many Chinese families will no longer mourn for 1,000 days or approximately 3 years.

1.5.1 But if one is a sticker for tradition, then no choice, one must abide by this family "regulation".

2. Today, so as long as the person and their family elders can decide and agree upon a reasonable mourning period. Then, it is also fine to consider wedding events after the mourning period is over.

3. In conclusion:

3.1. Nowadays, many modern families adopt a more liberal mourning period. Some families accept or agree on a 3 months to 1 year mourning period.

3.2. For long mourning periods, couples getting married should go for a "short-gun" wedding and opt to do so within the 100 days window. Else, have to wait till the mourning period is over.

4. Today's Modern Practical Alternative (Subject to individual family consensus)

4.1. Instead of the reprieve of 100 days to get whatever done e.g. a shot-gun wedding, move-in and/or house warming. 

4.2. If the family agrees to a short mourning period of 100 days; then since this will be the mourning period; don't get married, move-in or house warming during this period. 

4.3. Do so, after the 100 days. 

4.4. Contrast to the Traditional period of a reprieve to do all these during a window of 100 days. And once the window is closed, the mourning will be till 1,000 days or 3 years.

Robert Lee,
Geomancy.net

[Cecil Lee]

Today's modern alternative:

1. Instead of the reprieve of 100 days to get whatever done e.g. a shot-gun wedding, move-in and/or house warming. 

2. If the family agrees to a short mourning period of 100 days; then since this will be the mourning period; don't get married, move-in or house warming during this period. 

3. Do so, after the 100 days. 

4. Contrast to the Traditional period of a reprieve to do all these during a window of 100 days. And once the window is closed, the mourning will be till 1,000 days or 3 years.

[Cecil Lee]

Case Study: Does the home have a strong willed Empress Dowager type of strong willed matriach? Or instead a kind hearted old lady?

A simple flow chart: death of a parent or grandparent with the exception that the home may still have an “Empress Dowager” or aka a strong willed matriach.

Nowadays even the grand children seek advice from sites on the www.

[Cecil Lee]

 

[Cecil Lee]

Question: Master 100 days refers to which date to count from? From the date of funeral?

Reply: Based on date of death

[Cecil Lee]

Question: Hi Master Lee, I have to attend my friend's father wake tomorrow and this year pig year no good for me born in the yr of . Please help and advise me on what should I bring or take there. Thank you.

Reply:

1. Place a gold piece in your purse or handbag (if you have one) or a gold foil.

2. Bring along a 2 or 3 lime leaves.

As usual, remember to take a red string and lime leaves discard before reaching home.

Qn: Good morning, I only have a golden pig foil.

Reply: Okay, can

Qn: My friend told me to take 6 nails in pocket. Can work?

Reply: Too fierce... already

Qn: Ok ok. Then I better don't put.

Reply:

The most effective is acutally: a piece of gold

Especially for men the best is to place it in the back pocket.

Those things or persons will see that the persoon is sitting on "gold".

For ladies.. if got jeans and if a gold piece is also possible.

Else, use what you mentioned, above.

 

[Cecil Lee]

Client: We have a little of a problem - my renovation is getting delayed. We were initially planned for Mar 14 move in. Now we are expecting to only be able to move in Mar 30/31 which is right smack into qin ming festival.

Reply: Qing Ming is 5th April. Just make sure if you have any one to pray to go visit them first. If so, no worries about qing ming. If no one to pray to.. not affected

Client: My grandmother’s (lunar) death anniversary is on Mar 31 – so we are not comfortable to do the move-in ceremony. Also our parents are making noise about qin ming. So do you suggest, i go pray to my grandmother on Mar 30 and move in on Mar 31 instead? her death anniversary is 03/23 but lunar is 02/26

Reply: Qing min means actually 5th April. And it does not always fall on a weekend. Thus often it is stretched to one week before 5th april. On other years is 4th april and one week after 4th april.

If you are going by so happen to be on death anniversay... and if your parents are active in this management.. ask me also no use. You have to listen to them, right?

Definition of QM is: Qing min means actually 5th April. And it does not always fall on a weekend. Thus often it is stretched to one week before 5th april. On other years is 4th april and one week after 4th april.

Client: Noted

Reply: Once you have an elder e.g. "a Matriach in control", then first thing is to listen to your elders.. No choice. Bo pian..

Client:  So - technically speaking, I can go pray to my grandmother on Mar 30 and then move in officially on Mar 31 right?

Reply: Technically this is correct. You have paid your respect to GM right. And after paying respect... TECHNICALLY who is going to fault you. If you had visited and NEED to move in.

BUT your have a matriarch... clear with her first

Client: Ok thank you!

Morale of the story: "If there is an involved family member such as a "Matriach". Advice from others take second fiddle... unless one can talk sense or logic with her. If not, then no choice.. GO WITH THE FLOW...

 

 

[Cecil Lee]

Just to check is it  anything to do with Feng shui  I am not sure if I can still invite lion dance because my mum in law pass away in June this year   Can u advise

1. If she does not stay in your home.. should not be a problem.
2. But if you or husband feel guilty x whole year doing so, then Human factor superseeds inviting one.
3. Of course, try not to invite husband's kin.. and get "pissed off" by them.. then skip

 

[Cecil Lee]

Case Study: Master Lee, my father just passed away this am. Anything we must do at my mum hse. By cremation.

Reply: Cremation is neutral. Cannot celebrate new year

Since not held below void deck; cannot wear red

49 days later

[Chinese New Year is just a few days away]

Yes took out all the decoration.

Q: Cecil Lee , would like to ask you some questions
1) can my kids received red packets? We cannot give but can we receive ?

2) fengshui things should remains and CNY decorations to be removed right?

3) can the daughters go to in-laws to celebrate or also cannot?

4) we don’t have tablet, and ashes will be thrown into the sea. Anything for us to note for such a procedure ?

1. Definitely kids can receive. But don’t give.
Kids no issue field their piggy bank or bank in. No issue

2. Feng Shui is actually non religious.
Any red or CNY decorations are out. But the food or tidbits  no issue.

3. Usually, best to seek advice from individual matriarch. Yours, Eileen’s have different thinking or taboos.

3.1 Best is to check with each individual’s in-law. Some say okay. Some superstitious.

3.2 As per above; see what they say. As all these are not cast in stone. Usually the Hokkien /Teochew more Chin chye or easy going. Cantonese.. check.. check.. but again check

4. Cremation is neutral. Even in a niche no issue to stack high. Really not much of a taboo. Quite straightforward.

Q: Hi the used items what is the good time to dispose them off. Can throw now ?

On the 7th day (night) the deceased will go home or visit (to the last place of stay).

Thus it is preferred not to touch these items safest is at least 8th or 9th day after passing.

Actually, if one were to sprinkle talcum powder on the floor on that nite, one can see "foot prints" on the floor.

Safest is the 8th day onwards. If no constraint, leave it for 9 or 10 days.. later

[Cecil Lee]

This is within the 15 Days of Chinese New Year

May I enq if Husband bro passed away 3 wks ago  Can I gv angpow to my own children n their bf. 

[Cecil Lee]

Is it important for a mausoleum to check if the direction is ok?

Reply: Cremation is neutral… thus not crucial. Thus can (even be) stacked high

 

[Cecil Lee]

Reminder: Please check with your family matriarch.
None? Then.....

Procedures should never be cast in stone!

Ponder this...

LOL-:)