Is there a way to fix incompatible bazi?

[myfs_166082]

I was wondering if having an incompatible bazi means the end of the relationship even if we get along really well? (F Aug 4, 1996 13:30 born and M Mar 28, 1991 no hour) Is it possible for us to work it out or make it better? Guy also has a rat mom and has very good relationship with mom while girl has ox mom but is always arguing with her mom. 

[Robert Lee]

1. From the heaven luck compatibility, it really depends on how incompatible the charts are. There are 3 main indicators, the ba zi element compatibility, ba zi chart clashes/harms compatibility and horoscope compatibility in general. 

2. In most cases, a common binding element can help to smoothen and improve the relationship. However, if all 3 major indicator are incompatible and especially there are multiple major/minor clash/harm. Then it maybe a little harder to fix, as even the use of a common binding element, as there will still be some degree of conflicts that you can't truly get rid off completely. 

Especially, if this compatibility triggers a lot of frequent arugments. All these frequent arguments if unable to minimize/reduce, often will lead up to a 'pent up' major argument. Which once that explodes out, it is very difficult to resolve until the point that it leads to a potential break up. Which is why sometimes especially for a very badly incompatibility couple, more often than not, this often leads to a potential ends up in a break-up eventually.

3. So from the ba zi, the only thing you can do is to have more of the binding element in common areas around the two of you. Like in the ba zi of that two person you provided. This couple will need lots of water element to help smoothen and improve the relationship. If there are sufficient binding elements, then it should help minimise this from happening.

4. Beyond the ba zi compatibility. As a person generally has 3 form of luck affecting them:-

4.1. Heaven Luck - Luck you are born with and supposed to have based on your ba zi.

4.2. Earth Luck - Luck from your Home/Office and surrounding office.

4.3. Human Luck - Luck from your relationship with others and own hard work.

So each affects 33.3% of your overall luck. When it comes to relationship the two areas that affects the relationship are the Heaven and Human luck in particular.

5. So from the human luck factor, spending lots of time with each other, having a bit of tolerance and understanding about each other, can all help contribute to build a strong and lasting relationship. As if you are build a loving and strong relationship, this can sometimes overcome some of the incompatibility and reduce the possible conflicts that arises from the ba zi chart. 

Although it will probably still be a little challenging for an extremely incompatible chart, but it should help in some way.

6. From what you have written, it seems that the couple does seem to get along well. So this is a good sign that the human luck effort there is pretty good. So if there is sufficient common binding element. The relationship may still work out. Although, both of you will still have to put in sufficient effort to make sure it stays that way. 

From what I can see the girl side, as there seems to be frequent arguments with the mom, this may potentially cause a spill over effect, affecting the relationship in the long run if this does not get resolved. So she will definitely, need to look into improve her relationship with her mum.

7. In any case, generally a very incompatible chart, will mean that a lot more effort needed in order to maintain the relationship, as any small issue if not handled well, can often blow out of control if left uncontrolled. So the common binding element will be essential to minimize it along with good human luck effort.

 

[myfs_166082]

Thank you for your response! Based on what you said is the ba zi chart "extremely incompatible"? 

Also, can you please elaborate on how we can have more binding elements?

Is it also possible to determine which incompatibility and possible conflict is found in the ba zi?

Thank you!

[Robert Lee]

1. Frankly, I didn't analyse your charts in detail at all. All I did was just to quick check to see what at least one of the binding element maybe and for whether there are any major/minor clashes, for answering your questions. 

Frankly, our forum policy is by right, we shouldn't be having to do any calculation from date and time of birth info provided when answering any post. It should be simple advise based on issues or information you provided only. However, I needed to check just to give you an example of what is the binding element needed.

2. So I was more or less answering your question about whether it is possible improve an incompatible chart. And I said that even with the use of binding element, it may not 100% help a chart that is extremely incompatible. I didn't say that your chart was extremely incompatible. So I have to clarify that.

3. As for binding element, there can be a few different binding element depending on what elements the two of you ba zi. In your case, water was one of the recommended binding element. This means either common bedroom decor scheme for example, ideally having water element colours (blue/black/gray). Or even if you have a family member (ie your children), being say a weak/Strong Water etc. Or any other binding elements that can help to balance the elements. 

4. But do be careful, that when you apply any colour scheme, you also need to make sure that it doesn't affect any inauspicious Earth Luck (flying stars feng shui) etc. This is why we don't like to make detailed recommendations on what do as solution. As there are other things to consider. Some colours can activate the inauspicious illness/misfortune stars or in terms of something that can affect relationship would be the romance/quarrel stars. If there are any such inauspicious stars present, they also need to be properly neutralised or select another more neutral binding element colour. Otherwise, they will trigger more issues. So it is best that you get someone to help you professionally. 

5. Anyway the key point is that bedroom decor or common area decor colours, people around you generally some of the easiest and best way to add water element etc.

6. Beyond that, as mentioned it would depend on the human luck effort. 

Warmest Regards
Robert Lee