Chinese weddings

[sun888_99]

Dear cecil,
Tell us about chinese weddings. Do the bride and groom pick each other or weddings are arranged by the elders of the family. What kind of food is served in the weddings. Are there any good or bad omens etc. Thanks.

[Cecil Lee]

Dear Anon,
I believe the older generation of Chinese, arranged marriages are very common.
My parents have arranged marriages. There's is not the arrange marriage where it is determined from birth but rather later years of their life where my grandfather saw the `need' for my father to get married.
I believed, he asked a matchmaker to find a match for my dad.
When I was young, my parents used to bring us to visit relatives and close friends.
I recalled one close friend of my family who said that she was invited to her prospective in-laws home. She was viewed from top to toe.
The in-laws also looked at the type of `bone structure' and the `shape' of her legs.
In a `crude way', it is similar to what we see at auctions of animals. Where, the buyers were shown the animal and they bid for it.
I am not exaggerating but this is very true.
There are also those who had arranged marriages when they are young. I believe there is a simliar practise in India.
I also recalled my great, great grandmother, who had tiny feet. Feet that were bounded together cruely when young. Their feet can fit if I am not mistaken `doll' shoes.
It is a real pity because they are like walking on stilts i.e. narrow feet that are not well balanced. Anyway, I only remembered this but she died a short while after I was born so cannot remember more.
If you asked me, I was told that small feet then were considered very graceful for a lady.
The rich or the middle class usually hold a 10 course wedding dinner. The courses vary but usually not less than 8 courses in total.
The first dish is a usually a `cold' dish or an assortment of food that are `cold' e.g. prawns in salad cream, jelly fish, scrambled eggs, pork etc...
The last dish is usually a desert e.g. almond jelly or other Chinese deserts.
In the past, the taboo was not to wear a wedding dress twice. But because most newly married couples take their wedding photos prior to the wedding. Some consider this inasupicious as `symbolically' the wearing of dress twice is like marrying two times.
Some (not all) would get a beatiful male child and give them an red packet (money) to roll over the wedding bed in the hope that they are blessed with an equivalent male child. The pride of any family who wants their Surname to be carried on.
Well there are many more.
For those who live in Singapore, I recalled a few weeks back reading that someone had written a book on weddings. Perhaps you can check it out in the local English newspaper: The Straits Times, Singapore.
Warmest Regards,
Cecil

Quote

On 11/1/99 4:28:55 AM, Anonymous wrote:
Dear cecil,
Tell us about chinese
weddings. Do the bride and
groom pick each other or
weddings are arranged by the
elders of the family. What
kind of food is served in the
weddings. Are there any good
or bad omens etc. Thanks.