I saw this myself during a home audit for a client in Penang many years ago.

Case Study 1: My younger child wants to place their bed right next to my parents’ bedroom door and sleep facing into their room, but my teenager says no and wants more privacy.

By Master Cecil Lee

1. In my numerous interactions with various clients, including parents with young children and parents with teenagers:

1.1. In the attached material, please observe how teenagers and young children perceive their world, particularly their home environment.

1.2. For example, young children are very innocent and think differently from adults and teenagers. In the attachment, there are many children, whether timid or deeply affectionate toward their parents (as most are). If they were given a choice, some would position their bed heads close to the bedroom door, so they can be as close to their parents as possible.

1.3. If they can no longer sleep with you, they may still want to sleep with their heads and eyes as close to your door as possible. It is a tender expression of attachment; it may be worth embracing this phase while they are still young.

2. For teenagers and adults, we typically prefer the bed-head position to be as private as possible, that is, away from the bedroom door.

3. There are also some grandmothers or single parents who prefer to sleep in a more child-like manner. Consider this scenario: are they simply more childlike in their preferences?

4. There was once a family living in a landed property with three storeys. The parents wanted the best for their children. They intended for their only son to occupy the third-storey largest master bedroom, while the parents occupied the second master bedroom on the second storey, and their daughter stayed in the next room on the second storey.

4.1. The son, with an innocent perspective, asked his parents: Do you no longer want me? Is that why you are sending me to live on my own on the third storey?

5. The next time you plan a bedroom for your child, please spare a thought for them. Toddlers and young children do think differently from adults and teenagers.

Child's Thinking is different from an Adult

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I also saw this myself with a local client many years ago

Case Study 2: When Parents Move a Child to a Separate Floor: Handling “You Don’t Want Me Anymore?” Feelings in a Multi‑Storey Home

A family of five: father, mother, twin girls, and a son—live in a landed home with three storeys.

For many years, everyone slept on the second storey. It became the family’s “sleep zone,” where nighttime routines felt familiar and everyone knew they were close to one another.

One day, the parents realized their son was growing up. Wanting to do something kind, they decided to give their only son a more luxurious bedroom on the third storey. To the parents, it seemed like a thoughtful upgrade: more space, more comfort, and a room that matched his age.

But the reaction they received surprised them. Their son looked worried and said, “Daddy, Mummy, you don’t want me anymore?” In his mind, the move didn’t feel like a reward—it felt like being pushed away from the family’s shared space on the second storey.

This is a common emotional misunderstanding in family homes, especially in multi-storey living arrangements. Adults may see a new room as independence and privilege, while a child or teen may interpret it as distance, separation, or even rejection. Even when the new bedroom is “better,” the change can trigger fears like:

- “Am I being removed because I’m inconvenient now?”
- “Will I still be close to my parents at night?”
- “Am I still part of the family’s inner circle?”

In short, what parents intend as growth and trust can land as loss and loneliness—particularly if the child strongly associates closeness at night with safety, love, and belonging.

In a three-storey home, physical distance can feel emotionally larger than it is. A room on another floor may symbolize “you’re on your own now,” even if that was never the message.

The key takeaway: when changing sleeping arrangements—especially moving a child farther away—explain the “why” clearly and reassure them that closeness and connection are not changing, only the room location is.

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  Cecil Lee, +65 9785-3171 / support@geomancy.net