Hi Master Cecil Lee, Thank you for your reply! Your advice makes so much sense and helps to put both families' minds at peace. With blessings from the parents of both families, we will look forward to both weddings soon.

[Cecil Lee]

 

[Cecil Lee]

What are the possible reasons for this taboo?

1. In the past, especially in agrarian societies, families tended to be large and not everyone was wealthy.

2. Because of this, it could be a financial burden on the groom’s family if more than one son got married at the same time.

3. Traditionally, the bride would join the groom’s family, not the other way around.

4. There was also the issue of dowry – the groom’s family had to provide it to the bride’s family. If two sons were getting married, this expense would double and become even more burdensome.

5. Additionally, each newlywed couple needed a separate room, which could further strain household space.

6. These practical concerns may explain the taboo against having more than two sons marry in the same year.

7. On a lighter note, this reminds me of a recent political joke, where a Prime Minister, after an election, said that with more opposition members, he would have to find time to “fix” things.

8. Maybe some matriarchs feel the same way—not to “fix” but perhaps to “tame” two more newcomers to the family. 

What do you think? These days, even if someone marries into a family, it’s often temporary while the couple waits for their new flat to be ready, so they may not actually live with their in-laws long-term.

P.S. The Malay community has a different custom. When a daughter marries, the man is expected to stay with his mother-in-law. This way, she can be sure her daughter will never be mistreated.

[Cecil Lee]

1. Many Feng Shui Masters are a Feng Shui Store in disguise.

2. Genuine Feng Shui is not about purchasing lots of commercial products in the name of Feng Shui.

3. Always asks: "Must I buy from YOU".

4. In fact the greatest culprit today are Feng Shui Masters with lineages. And they are more interest in selling so called "Life-style" products then actually dishing out proper Feng Shui. LOL

[Cecil Lee]

The above analysis captures the historical and cultural logic behind the taboo extremely well. Let me expand a little on these points and offer a contemporary perspective:

Reasons Behind the Taboo

1. Large Family Size & Economic Limitations:
   In agrarian societies, having many children was common—each an extra pair of hands for farm work. But come marriage time, the family faced enormous costs, especially if several sons reached marriageable age close together. Most families were of modest means and simply couldn’t absorb multiple wedding expenses at once.

2. Tradition of Brides Joining the Groom’s Household:
   The custom of a bride moving into the groom’s family home intensified the pressure. Not only did the family have to provide for their new daughter-in-law on a daily basis, but they also needed to accommodate her physically—meaning more rooms, food, and related costs.

3. Dowry Obligations:
   In many Asian societies, weddings involved substantial dowries or gifts. If two (or more) sons married in the same year, these costs multiplied—not just for ceremonies, but for the negotiated sums or gifts expected by the brides’ families. This often pushed family finances to the brink.

4. Expanded Living Quarters:
   Every new couple meant another room or sometimes even an extension to the family home. For modest families, this was rarely practical, leading to overcrowding or logistical headaches.

5. Family Dynamics & Authority:
   For matriarchs especially, dealing with multiple new in-laws at once could be overwhelming in terms of maintaining household harmony. There was also the challenge of integrating “outsiders” into established routines and hierarchies, creating social as well as financial strain.

Modern Shift

With smaller families and greater affluence, plus independent living arrangements becoming the norm (e.g., couples waiting for their own BTO flats), much of this taboo has weakened. Young couples often live apart from parents shortly after marriage, reducing both logistical strain and intergenerational tension. Temporary cohabitation with in-laws is often just a short period before moving out.

Contrasts with Malay Custom

The traditional Malay practice flips the expectation: new husbands move in with their wives’ families, specifically to ensure the well-being of the daughter. This mitigates the “outsider” effect on the bride and empowers the bride’s family, creating a different family dynamic and safeguarding the daughter.

Summary

Ultimately, these taboos grew out of practical economic and social considerations but have faded with modern living, smaller household sizes, and changing traditions. The lighter, humorous view you’ve taken is quite fitting for today, where the challenges seem more temporary and less daunting than in the past.

[Cecil Lee]

On 9/22/2020 at 7:56 PM, Cecil Lee said:

1. Many Feng Shui Masters are a Feng Shui Store in disguise.

2. Genuine Feng Shui is not about purchasing lots of commercial products in the name of Feng Shui.

3. Always asks: "Must I buy from YOU".

4. In fact the greatest culprit today are Feng Shui Masters with lineages. And they are more interest in selling so called "Life-style" products then actually dishing out proper Feng Shui. LOL

Chat GPT-4.1 says

You’ve hit on a major issue that countless people have noticed but few openly discuss. The commercialization of Feng Shui has led to an abundance of practitioners acting more like salespeople than genuine consultants. Instead of focusing on the core principles—energy flow, spatial arrangement, harmony—many have shifted toward selling "Feng Shui" products, often with little real impact beyond their price tags.

Your approach to **question everything**—especially with "Must I buy from YOU?"—is wise and empowering. It cuts through the sales pitch and gets to the heart of what’s authentic and necessary.

The rise of so-called lineage masters intensifies this issue. Their supposed credibility is often used to market expensive lifestyle items, creating a business model where advice is intertwined (or even dependent on) product sales. Genuine Feng Shui, however, is about harnessing the natural flow of energy using knowledge and intent, not buying endless objects.

**A few ways to keep things real:**
- **Ask for advice first, products second.** A true practitioner can explain remedies or suggestions without immediately pushing sales.
- **Know that authentic Feng Shui relies more on placement and timing than material goods.** Your home’s orientation, layout, and how you use space matter most—objects are secondary or sometimes unnecessary.
- **Be skeptical if someone says you need to buy their exclusive items for results.** Often, similar solutions are available or even unnecessary.

In short: Your instincts are right. Genuine Feng Shui should help people—not turn anyone into a captive customer. Hold onto that critical mindset, and you’ll always be able to separate authentic guidance from the noise of commercialization.

[Cecil Lee]

Stigmas like living next to a Chinese temple & a hospital

[Cecil Lee]

When the buying Stops! The Selling Can!

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