Case Study: My Grandmother (mum's mom) just passed away yesterday. From a Feng Shui angle, how will this affect - our wedding on xx Dec. Can the family members still attend?

[Cecil Lee]

Questions:

a. My Grandmother (mum’s mom) just passed away yesterday. From a Feng Shui angle, how will this affect - our wedding on (this date that is more than 100 days.) Can the family members still attend our wedding? 

b. Our proposed house warming on (within 100 days). Can we still go ahead with that?

My condolences.

c. Moving in is not an issue since it falls within the 100-day period.

d. Regarding family members’ attendance: traditionally, this is not allowed, as it is beyond the 100-day reprieve.

e. However, in modern times, it’s best to check with both partners’ parents. Some parents are quite flexible, while others follow strict Chinese traditional guidelines.

1. The Traditional Chinese Guidelines or Common Practises

1.1. The traditional Chinese custom when a parent or grandparent passes away is to either hold a wedding within 100 days of their death, or wait until 1,000 days later (about 3 years).

1.2. It is considered unlucky to get married while the family is still in mourning. Therefore, there is a short 100-day window that allows for weddings before the family enters the longer mourning period of 1,000 days or 3 years. Even a one-year mourning period is still regarded as a long time.

1.3. This is the usual traditional practice or belief.

1.4. The key essence lies with what is the family's idea of a mourning period?

1.5 In modern times, many Chinese families no longer observe the traditional 1,000-day or three-year mourning period.

1.5.1 However, those who strictly follow tradition must observe this extended mourning period, as breaking it is considered bad luck.

2. Today, as long as the person and their family elders agree on a reasonable mourning period, it is acceptable to hold wedding events after the mourning period has ended.

3. In conclusion:

3.1 Nowadays, many modern families choose more flexible mourning periods, with some accepting a mourning period of three months to one year.

3.2 For longer mourning periods, couples who wish to get married should have a quick wedding within the 100-day window; otherwise, they must wait until the mourning period is over.

4. Today's Modern Practical Alternative (Subject to individual family consensus)

4.1. Traditionally, the 100-day reprieve allows time to carry out important events, such as a quick wedding, moving in, or a housewarming.

4.2. If the family decides on a short mourning period of 100 days, this entire time is considered the mourning period; so weddings, moving in, or housewarmings should not take place during this time.

4.3. These events should be held after the 100 days have passed.

4.4. This differs from the traditional practice, where the 100-day window is used to complete such events before entering a longer mourning period of 1,000 days, or about three years.

Robert Lee,
Geomancy.net

[Cecil Lee]

This contains no narratives. Just the full context:

1. The Traditional Chinese Guidelines or Common Practises

1.1 According to Chinese tradition, when there is a death in the family, specifically of a parent or grandparent, the usual practice is either to have a wedding within 100 days of their passing or to wait until 1,000 days later (about three years).

1.2 It is generally considered unlucky to get married while the family is still in mourning. This is why there is a short, 100-day window that allows such events to take place before entering a longer mourning period.

1.3 The above is the common practice or belief.

1.4 The key point is what the family considers an appropriate mourning period.

1.5 In modern times, many Chinese families no longer observe the traditional 1,000-day or three-year mourning period.

1.5.1 However, for those who strictly follow tradition, the family rules must be observed.

2. Today, as long as the individual and their family elders agree on a suitable mourning period, it is acceptable to hold wedding events after the mourning period has ended.

3. In conclusion:

3.1 Nowadays, many modern families prefer a more flexible approach, with some choosing a mourning period of three months to one year.

3.2 For longer mourning periods, couples who wish to get married should have a quick wedding within the 100-day window. Otherwise, they will need to wait until the mourning period is over.

4. Today's Modern Practical Alternative (Subject to individual family consensus)

4.1. Traditionally, there is a 100-day reprieve in which important events such as a quick wedding, moving in, or holding a housewarming can take place.

4.2. If the family chooses a short mourning period of 100 days, this entire time is considered the mourning period. During this period, weddings, moving in, or housewarmings should not be held.

4.3. These events can be arranged after the 100 days have passed.

4.4. This differs from the traditional practice, where the 100-day window is an exception allowing such events. Once this window closes, the mourning continues for 1,000 days or about three years.

Robert Lee,
Geomancy.net

[Cecil Lee]

Today's modern alternative:

1. Instead of using the 100-day window to quickly hold events like a wedding, moving in, or a housewarming,

2. If the family agrees to a short mourning period of 100 days, then this entire period should be dedicated to mourning. Do not get married, move in, or hold a housewarming during these days.

3. These events should be held after the 100 days have passed.

4. This differs from the traditional practice, where the 100-day window was an exception for such events. Once that window closed, the mourning period continued for 1,000 days, or about three years.

[Cecil Lee]

Case Study: Is the home ruled by a strong-willed Empress Dowager type of matriarch, or by a kind-hearted elderly lady?

A simple flow chart: death of a parent or grandparent, unless the family still has an Empress Dowager or strong-willed matriarch living in the home.

Nowadays even the grand children seek advice from sites on the www.

[Cecil Lee]

 

[Cecil Lee]

Question: Master 100 days refers to which date to count from? From the date of funeral?

Reply: Based on date of death

[Cecil Lee]

Question: Hi Master Lee, I have to attend my friend's father wake tomorrow and this year pig year no good for me born in the yr of . Please help and advise me on what should I bring or take there. Thank you.

Reply:

1. Place a gold coin or gold foil in your purse or handbag, if you have one.

2. Bring 2 or 3 lime leaves with you.

As usual, remember to take a red string and discard the lime leaves before you reach home.

Qn: Good morning, I only have a golden pig foil.

Reply: Okay, can

Qn: My friend told me to take 6 nails in pocket. Can work?

Reply: Too fierce... already

Qn: Ok ok. Then I better don't put.

Reply:

The most effective option is actually using a piece of gold.

For men, the best place to keep it is in the back pocket.

This allows others to see that the person is “sitting on gold.”

For ladies, if wearing jeans and if possible, placing a gold piece works as well.

Otherwise, use the method mentioned above.

 

[Cecil Lee]

Client: We have a little of a problem - my renovation is getting delayed. We were initially planned for Mar 14 move in. Now we are expecting to only be able to move in Mar 30/31 which is right smack into qin ming festival.

Reply: Qing Ming is 5th April. Just make sure if you have any one to pray to go visit them first. If so, no worries about qing ming. If no one to pray to.. not affected

Client: My grandmother’s (lunar) death anniversary is on Mar 31 – so we are not comfortable to do the move-in ceremony. Also our parents are making noise about qin ming. So do you suggest, i go pray to my grandmother on Mar 30 and move in on Mar 31 instead? her death anniversary is 03/23 but lunar is 02/26

Reply: Qing min means actually 5th April. And it does not always fall on a weekend. Thus often it is stretched to one week before 5th april. On other years is 4th april and one week after 4th april.

If you are going by so happen to be on death anniversay... and if your parents are active in this management.. ask me also no use. You have to listen to them, right?

Definition of QM is: Qing min means actually 5th April. And it does not always fall on a weekend. Thus often it is stretched to one week before 5th april. On other years is 4th april and one week after 4th april.

Client: Noted

Reply: Once you have an elder e.g. "a Matriach in control", then first thing is to listen to your elders.. No choice. Bo pian..

Client:  So - technically speaking, I can go pray to my grandmother on Mar 30 and then move in officially on Mar 31 right?

Reply: Technically this is correct. You have paid your respect to GM right. And after paying respect... TECHNICALLY who is going to fault you. If you had visited and NEED to move in.

BUT your have a matriarch... clear with her first

Client: Ok thank you!

Morale of the story: "If there is an involved family member such as a "Matriach". Advice from others take second fiddle... unless one can talk sense or logic with her. If not, then no choice.. GO WITH THE FLOW...

 

 

[Cecil Lee]

Just to check is it  anything to do with Feng shui  I am not sure if I can still invite lion dance because my mum in law pass away in June this year   Can u advise

1. If she does not stay in your home.. should not be a problem.
2. But if you or husband feel guilty x whole year doing so, then Human factor superseeds inviting one.
3. Of course, try not to invite husband's kin.. and get "pissed off" by them.. then skip

 

[Cecil Lee]

Case Study: Master Lee, my father just passed away this am. Anything we must do at my mum hse. By cremation.

Reply: Cremation is neutral. Cannot celebrate new year

Since not held below void deck; cannot wear red

49 days later

[Chinese New Year is just a few days away]

Yes took out all the decoration.

Q: Cecil Lee , would like to ask you some questions
1) can my kids received red packets? We cannot give but can we receive ?

2) fengshui things should remains and CNY decorations to be removed right?

3) can the daughters go to in-laws to celebrate or also cannot?

4) we don’t have tablet, and ashes will be thrown into the sea. Anything for us to note for such a procedure ?

1. Definitely kids can receive. But don’t give.
Kids no issue field their piggy bank or bank in. No issue

2. Feng Shui is actually non religious.
Any red or CNY decorations are out. But the food or tidbits  no issue.

3. Usually, best to seek advice from individual matriarch. Yours, Eileen’s have different thinking or taboos.

3.1 Best is to check with each individual’s in-law. Some say okay. Some superstitious.

3.2 As per above; see what they say. As all these are not cast in stone. Usually the Hokkien /Teochew more Chin chye or easy going. Cantonese.. check.. check.. but again check

4. Cremation is neutral. Even in a niche no issue to stack high. Really not much of a taboo. Quite straightforward.

Q: Hi the used items what is the good time to dispose them off. Can throw now ?

On the 7th day (night) the deceased will go home or visit (to the last place of stay).

Thus it is preferred not to touch these items safest is at least 8th or 9th day after passing.

Actually, if one were to sprinkle talcum powder on the floor on that nite, one can see "foot prints" on the floor.

Safest is the 8th day onwards. If no constraint, leave it for 9 or 10 days.. later

[Cecil Lee]

This is within the 15 Days of Chinese New Year

May I enq if Husband bro passed away 3 wks ago  Can I gv angpow to my own children n their bf. 

[Cecil Lee]

Is it important for a mausoleum to check if the direction is ok?

Reply: Cremation is neutral… thus not crucial. Thus can (even be) stacked high

[Cecil Lee]

Reminder: Please check with your family matriarch.
None? Then.....

Procedures should never be cast in stone!

Ponder this...

LOL-:)

[Cecil Lee]

Today, few families are led by a strong family matriarch. If you are unsure and married, check with the elders in your family, especially to receive their blessings. - Master Cecil Lee, Geomancy.net

[Cecil Lee]